Shelter As We Storm
Is it just me or are there flaming arrows everywhere?
THE ART OF HEALING
Dear Ones,
My notebook is like a dream catcher. I call it a thought catcher or an emotion catcher. I am old school. I have piles and piles of notebooks and pens. I happen to know that my personal brain functions better when I write. There happens to be hard science proof that this observation is in fact true.
Our brains can undergo changes in architecture when thoughts go from brain to pen to paper.
How cool is that?
I graduated to the keyboard for these writings. My brain operates differently now than with pen and paper. I am still in the adaptation phase of this process.
My compulsion to write in said notebooks keeps no schedule. It happens all day long. I even use my phone for on-the-go thought capture.
It feels like words are spewing out of me and out of my body. Maybe words eject from me to make brain room for my fanatical reading habits. Maybe they just want to be heard after years of forced silence.
MY LETTER TO COVID
So I really mean it when I say: THANK YOU, COVID.
Thank you for all your mysteries. For the pain. For fracturing the structures that were not serving us anyway. For teaching me to recognize my worth.
With no science and a whole lot of despair, we health workers sought other means of support. We reached deep into a wellspring of the art of healing and pulled out our dusty empathy hats. It is natural for us to head to the frontlines naked without batting an eyelash. We are human and we are healers. This is what human healers do in times of crisis. This is what humans do in times of crisis.
I profusely thank my ID-trained brain for supplying me with the muscle to navigate those uncertain times. Thank you, my dear seasoned brain, for actually being my stepping stone to reach my heart. Now, with all due respect, please step aside.
NO COOKIE-CUTTER HEALING APPROACHES
All of us forage for new healing tools during unprecedented times. We likely have complex PTSD or some yet-to-be-discovered diagnosis. I searched high and low until I found practical methods unique to my needs.
Cookie-cutter approaches to healing trauma do not work for us anymore. Our protective mechanism of disassociation does not serve us anymore. However, it is still our habit energy to disassociate when times are hard (so right now). We are not even conscious of doing it.
Don’t get me wrong, the disassociation technique still comes in handy for us at specific times and places (ex. hospital trauma centers and during other trauma-laden experiences). I prefer to use disassociation PRN (as needed) and not be forced into it without my awareness.
*NESSA TIP
Write. Write. Write. It is like an exorcist of invader thoughts.
Journaling activates our parasympathetic nervous system, often referred to as the “rest and digest” response. This counters the effects of our sympathetic nervous system (it is not at all sympathetic by the way), which is the leader of the “fight-or-flight” response.
Journaling helps regulate our heart rate, blood pressure, and other physiological responses. It helps me with emotional regulation and self-exploration. It also transmutes daily hard work and life experiences into opportunities for further growth and healing. And it is free (like sunlight for sleep)! Imagine that!
Click on this link for info on the neuroscience of journaling.
COLLECTIVE ACTION DURING TRAGEDY
Have you ever noticed how people rally behind acute human tragedies?
The shockwaves send us into collective action. I think it is a cool human phenomenon. Our natural state of empathy blasts into full sail. We essentially suffer in sync as species often do.
It seems natural to be in unison with one another in times of duress. I think this cooperative behavior represents the true essence of interconnected beings.
I venture to say that this is our most natural way of being. Go humans!
SEPARATION AFTER TRAGEDY
During tragedies, we have seen or heard incredible examples of communities rallying for support, right?
But then does it feel like, after the dust settles, we snap back into our insulated, less community-oriented ways? Sometimes we revert back to busy, isolated, and disassociated habit energy states. Some of us may even stay this way (or fall further asleep) until the next big tragedy strikes. Only tragedy will compel us to attempt to reconnect with others again. It feels overwhelming to act with so many back-to-back tragedies.
SEARCH FOR HIGHER GROUND
From the front lines of healthcare, tragedy witnessing has been incredibly painful. I am not going to downplay how hard it is anymore. Send reinforcements. We are drowning in this post-COVID era. People are so very sick- in all the ways. The system is sicker than the patients it seeks to “support.” All who work in the system are infected with root rot. Decomposition preps the soil.
Imagine a war zone: A lot of suffering and pain. Flaming arrows. Minimal structural support. Little creativity on new strategies. No permission for empathy. Intense grasping of old ineffective ways. Exploitation still flopping around. Normalization of silencing of our outrage…
Something happens to our cells when we witness this degree of pain and suffering on repeat. Especially when we deem ourselves helpless. Something changes deep in our marrows. The change is very personal and different for us all.
For me, suffering, death and sickness have now become a daily contemplation practice. Walking with the pain (as opposed to denying/rejecting it) becomes the superpower. The ongoing work helps put my gratitude and mindfulness/meditation practice into full swing. I am learning to use the practice for what it is truly meant for…hard in-the-trenches life moments. It feels like a world with more dogs than bones. Treading water here is no easy feat.
*NESSA TIP
Do you know what happens to your body under stress? What happens under the hood during various life experiences? Our stress response hits so fast after a stimulus. Adrenaline triggers our immune system to boost.
How many of you have gotten sick the moment you slow down on a vacation? When we slow down our stress response crashes and there goes our immune system with it.
Now more than ever, we could benefit from teaching ourselves how to regulate our nervous systems from all the flaming arrows. It helps if we first recognize our personal patterns and habits. Mindfulness practice is like a pot of GOLD. We can train ourselves how better to face pain, stress, and suffering in real-time. No more running from pain. How else can we wounded healers exist? Karl Jung reminds us that “knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”
QUESTIONS
My feral mind asks more unanswered questions this week:
Can we change the quality of our presence with ourselves and others?
Can we shelter together as we storm?
Can we transmute our pain into curiosity and compassion?
Can we gracefully move through how it is instead of torturing ourselves with thoughts on how we want it to be?
Can we recognize that old ways do not serve us anymore?
Will these wars divide us or bring us together as a species?
Will war teach us to take a step back, a deep breath, and join efforts on the ecological crises affecting all beings?
Will we learn to be in lockstep for protecting our home (the planet) in order to reach our 2030 goal?
Have we grown indifferent and resigned to help our planet because of our overwhelm?
Do we know that our thinking on any issue affects our current actions/inactions on the issue at hand?
With Gratitude,
Nessa
PS- Don’t despair. Double down on self-care techniques- not the numbing kind but the ones that allow for quality of your presence. I wholeheartedly believe that individual healing is what is needed for collective healing. The practice of attunement helps CONSCIOUSLY move us through unfolding chapters.
