Magnetic Fields Of Flowers
Rest Is Resistance
Dear Ones,
Hi earth angels. It is brave to be kind in this Orwellian society.
Nothing is worth my inner peace. Not one single thing. My senses are over capacity.
I feel more at home in the non-human world than in the human world. Does that mean I am non-human? Oh, what a relief. It has been hard to find common ground. So I was meant to be Pelican? I knew it.
Summer flowers are like hugs and kisses. Don’t you see that from the picture above? Those natives startle me every year. I prefer magnetic fields of flowers and birds to humans. This may or may not be just a phase.
NOT A SILENT SPRING
Sue me, I can no longer fathom harmful societal norms.
My body is allergic (anaphylactic actually) to systemic structural violence of the human world. To aggression. To brutality. To hypocrisy. To authoritarianism. To harassment. To sexism. To addiction. To exploitation. To oppression. To pollution. To fear. To infestation of greed. To violence. It is a very serious allergy.
I step into the garden. A more than human sanctuary. A welcoming and thriving ecosystem (unlike the hospital). Birdsongs calm and co-regulate me. Evolutionarily speaking, the sound of birdsong signals safety for all beings.
It was not a silent spring and oh how that saved me.
JUNE GLOOM
The California sun just came out. Hallelujah. Living beings have more spring in their steps. We were running out of solar charge.
June gloom synchronized well with me though. I was sick for most of June up until the sun came out. A gnarly non-COVID virus took advantage of my sleep- disturbed immune-naive immune system.
My circadian rhythm, hormones, mood, and sleep habits were all disturbed by the illness and the cosmos. I lived device-free. Don’t get me wrong. I was happy to build immunities while thinning my booklist. It was still hard on me. Slower recovery times are expected these days.
WHY ARE THE BUGS STRONGER NOW?
It certainly feels like circulating organisms nowadays are stronger than during pre-covid times. They are. They act in more virulent ways now. There are many reasons for this change in behavior.
Weakened host factors (human health/sickness) and acute environmental factors (external/climate) play important roles in breeding successes and failures.
I don’t want to know what ancient viruses lurk in the permafrost melt.
REST IS RESISTANCE
People laugh when I say this. I wholeheartedly agree. I now believe that rest is the ultimate act of rebellion. This is a completely different type of non-violent activism.
Rest comes with many perks too:
It allows our nervous system to be in parasympathetic (rest/digest) mode instead of sympathetic (fight/flight) mode.
It detoxes our minds of daily fears and attachments.
It offers ample opportunity to practice meditation and mindfulness habits.
It restores poor brain and body health.
Attention to collective health and healing is so radical these days. Alien concept around these parts. Rest is resistance. Our attention is the currency.
*NESSA TIP*: I set a relaxing sleep alarm. My bedroom is a sleep sanctuary. I train my brain to remain in rest and digest state. My nightly ritual involves meditation, yoga, hot showers, books, calming garden tea, low lighting, music, and aromatherapy.
DO NOT TRUST SLEEP-DEPRIVED THOUGHTS
It is the darndest observation: during bouts of sleep deprivation, dark thoughts surface and dominate without fail. This whole time as an earthling, I was conditioned to believe that my thoughts must be true. The good news is that I do not believe everything I think anymore.
During sleep deficit, I am too tired to tell if my thoughts are true vs. delusion. This confusion has the potential to unleash a cascade of unfortunate life events.
Now I witness my thoughts float on by like a river. I wave and smile. Toodaloo. Sometimes I write them out of my head. It seems like a purification process.
The future human will be in the habit of saying: I do not trust my thoughts at the moment because I need more sleep.
Which office chair is more alive? Trading old office for new.
WHAT PEOPLE THINK HEALTH MEANS
In the U.S. health seems to mean:
More pillpopping of all extreme varieties. Even the children are drugged.
More antibiotics to disturb natural flora. Gut flora dictates our mood, weight, and immune systems. Preserve your lovebugs.
More quick fixes and diet hacks.
More fear of facing sickness and death.
More body amputations.
More chemo and dialysis.
More invasive surgeries/procedures
More more more (user/taker physiology)
WHAT HEALTH PROBABLY MEANS
Less is more. I scream that into voids.
Sages before us dropped many clues. Maybe we can start with a clean slate. I start with learning the unique language of my body, mind, and soul.
“There is a physician inside of us. There is a physician outside of us” said Dr. Gladys McGarey (103 yr old wise grandmother of holistic medicine). She points to our innate self-healing powers.
May we be open to new and ancient ways of healing together.
May All Beings Find Peace,
Nessa (born at 333 ppm)
WEEKLY SCARS OF MY HAPPINESS
THE JOURNEY by Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do –
determined to save
the only life you could save.
There are worse fates than death... That's the theme of my substack reading this week. Martin Shaw has a really beautiful article about death this week too.
"less is more" and "rest is resistance" both resonated with me deeply. Thank you for this thoughtful writing Nessa. From one MD who cares about health more than the system seems to, to another, in solidarity...