I am here to say that I appreciate all your thoughts and comments! I love how this is a pop in and comment if you feel like kind of space. No pings or comment flags. Just on our own time raw and organic. Thank you.
Agreed. There is so much awareness of mindfulness...And integrative medicine has been around for a while. But the pendulum swings, and fear-based medicine clenches on more strongly when it's threatened. For each person to take responsibility for his/her/their own wellness seems totally essential.
This comment resonates. The gripping is so intense from all directions. I found when I released it was almost like whiplash. Totally agree about self awareness as being the fundamental human prerequisite right now. Thank goodness for Thay's teachings and what we learned in our recent course. Gems!
I love when Thay talks about taking agency! It was so profound for me. So simple but yet so hard to grasp for my brain who is very conditioned to give my power away.
I will be entering the healthcare system from the other side, as a patient, in a few days. I’m having a relatively simple outpatient surgery but it still feels odd to encounter the world from this angle. Thank you for all that you each do for the world through your work.
Oh I had outpatient surgery this year for the first time. I would not downplay the stress on our physiology and emotions- no matter how "minor" the surgery is. I feel the establishment downplays everything and I do not agree with them. It was sooo odd being on the other side, getting general anesthesia. I found it to be so cookie cutter and very uncomfortable and im a friggin doctor. One would think I would know what to expect! I had to log on to portal to see that during anesthesia i got a whopping dose of steroids which is why i was wired and manic for 48 hrs post op! I am sending you positive energy for your procedure and swift healing. go easy on yourself. No matter what the docs say.
Question for the sangha- does meditation feel synonymous with prayer? I am finding that its all the same. I guess it is just semantics but I feel like I have protect the time for it. Maybe if I just say I am praying, I'll have fewer moles to whack. hahah.
Great question. I’m such a mixture of spiritual inclinations, but I know most people are these days. We know too much! Or just enough. I pray, I chant, I follow my breath, I meditate (not much), I listen to dharma talks. Yes, somehow I think it’s all pointing at one thing.
Hi dear Sangha. It turned out that taking a break from the teachings was suboptimal so I started them again. I have come to recognize that the undergoing the teachings is a lifestyle. I am working to make life changes so that it can be more embedded into my life. I hope the end of the year lands well on you. See you on the 30th zoom call!
How are you all feeling the concept of Interbeing this week? I am grateful for time spent in my garden and among my fruit trees. Not only is it very healthy to be outside, but I feel like it helps me maintain a sense of connection with nature. We are not in nature, we are nature kind of reminders.
Also, just had a conference call with one of the insurance companies I'm contracted with, which was not fun. And the interbeing aspect is that because I'm "an insider" rather than completely outside the system, there's a possibility that I'm getting paid to gradually change the system from the inside-out. :)
Interbeing was difficult for me at the start of the week, it is interesting you asked this question, I was very triggered. Maybe this is why I decided to take a pause from the book. Either way I decided in the middle of the week that I was going to allow myself to be human, not to judge myself from having a triggered experience, the result was that I felt more connected with nature and things around me without trying. It was almost that the teachings woke up and I no longer had to try so hard. Now that I am writing this, one of the parts that stood out from the book was non action. Allowing, not doing anything, knowing we have everything we need at this very moment. Nothing to do, nothing more, nothing less, accepting the moment as it unfolds, witnessing.
I'm not going to be with my dad or siblings over the holidays, but I'm considering interbeing from the perspective of: If they were not who they are, I would not be who I am (devoted to change and transformation). So, we don't have to be the same in order for interbeing to be fruitful.
so true. a simple honoring that we came from our ancestors helps soften any hard edges of that reality for me. haha. I am struggling with interbeing with humans (thinking it is a passing phase) as I strengthen my connection with more than human beings (nature, etc).
I have taken a break from the course material and that is maybe not serving me well. :)
As for insurance companies, I have spent decades fighting with them. It is all an absurd circus in my opinion and I lay down my arms. Like ok, ok, you win in this realm. I get it type of thing. I will shift my course...
I think taking a break from humans makes a lot of sense! We are a wild species. I'm leaning into a 4-day free program with Miribai Starr called Grieving through the Holidays that has been really supportive. This time of year is so tender.
I would love to throw in the towel with insurance companies, but they pay my bills at the moment. Maybe that will change in the future.
I worked for an insurance company for 5 years. that was my last formal nursing gig, I threw in the towel during COVID. I understand you so deeply on this one. It is hard to find balance between being there and also honoring ourselves, our believes, the patients....so hard. Deep breathing!
Nessa and friends, I apologize for my absence recently. I was involved in a troubling situation at work and found it hard to participate in the group or the course. I’m here now and enjoying all of your comments and writings. Thank you all for being here :)
I need help putting my aspiration into words. I'm listening to the ZASP book (a little late), and aspiration is such an important topic throughout. It was addressed in the course, but I didn't go deeply enough. I want to throw some words out here as a rough draft and ask for your support in finding some precision as I work with it.
I want to heal Feminine Energy in the world. Which is related to my mother's death from Alzheimer's at 73, my medical family and the dominance of that model, my personal and professional journey in the mental health field, Mother Earth, Hawaii, Jin Shin Jyutsu, Bhakti yoga, dancing, music, relationships.....So. Many. Things. But they are all held together by feminine energy. And I think it's what's missing in the world and also what has been missing in my heart since I was a child (but has been blooming for several decades now).
The repression of feminine energy makes me so angry that I want to act.
This is timely. It makes sense that these thoughts are rising in you. We are watching patriarchal systems fail and directly threaten women. No matter where we go the threat is there honestly. So naturally we may have healthy and unhealthy anger, responses and fear. It takes practice to have equanimity in that department and to have anger but utilize it to cut illusions as opposed to hurl insults or blame others. Perhaps the sense of the times right now is that we could benefit from paying attention to nurturing, nonviolent, loving energy of all mother figures and heal mother wounds. That also means that men bring other skills that we do not have to the table. We all have strengths and weaknesses. The ideal is harmony with nature and human beings including men (without tolerating what constitutes abuse of course). I can't think of any way to embody that except for transmuting anger into love and be the feminine energy that we wish to see. Unapologetically be the light even as it is snuffed out. I guess that is the same theme we keep bring up in our comments :) It takes practice. Thank goodness for the teachings. I am still reading the book too.
Sarah, I am a man but one who agrees so wholeheartedly with your view that there is feminine energy missing from the world. I would like to start by saying that as a white man in the US, I’m sure that at some point I’ve contributed to our collective repression of feminine energy, whether knowingly or unknowingly. I apologize so deeply for these things. As a nurse I’ve been amazed by the way that women have infused their energy into the practice, and how sustaining that feels. While I’m not a woman I feel myself being influenced by this feminine energy and it is dear to me. It’s important to me to continue growing with this and learning my own feminine energy. I think that it has made me a better healer and a better person.
Matthew, I really appreciate your saying these words. Sometimes it seems like I'm alone, even though I'm not. It's great that you are appreciating the Feminine in all of these dimensions. I think of Thay saying, "Just let Mother Earth do everything," which to me, is The Big Feminine holding us all.
Thank you for sharing this with us Sarah, your commitment to the work! I too wish to be of service in this world, work towards loving myself and radiating that energy to others. I think this is beautiful and it comes from your life experience and understanding of the world.
I was very close to finishing the book recently and put it down, maybe I'll finish it another time. My conditioned mind had a hard time processing it all, so I decided to give it a break to allow myself to digest. See what works for me and what doesn't.
Heartening: When I was a bedside nurse 10 years ago on my first job I was asking the same questions that we are all talking about here and my coworkers then thought I was a complainer and that I needed to do the Job that I was told. Hearing your comments and going deep into Thay’s teachings brings me hope. Hope that we as humans have the capacity to change our internal conditions that are toxic, not only to assist ourselves but our communities.
Disheartening: they are still people out there who think the system is the way it is, and that nothing needs to be done about it 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🧡 hope, hope. Breathing in, breathing out.
My ENTIRE life I have been told I am too much and just never satisfied and always complaining and I must not be happy and to get back into place. I was told by virtually everyone to stop agitating the status quo. Apparently people were seemingly comfortable with this model of living and anyone who was not was put into place. How oppressive is that! So ya, I guess I was too much for their too little.
When I speak up it is to voice outrage of injustice/harms that I witness day in and day out for nearly 20 years in the healthcare "industry" and just in life in general. When I reflect on the dichotomy, I recognize that the grip was so tight around our conditioned brains. It is normal to accept harmful systems, harmful food, harmful behavior, and harmful treatment of one another. It is painfully normal for most. It is no longer normal for me. No thank you. Thank you both your willingness to be open on this space. I think of us as futurists and innovators and survivors really.
I feel excited to be here even though I have no idea how to change anything!!! LOL. Seriously, the way out is in, but of course that never seems like enough. But it is.
And yet you do know. We all know it in our bones. Changing our individual conditioning seems essential to elevate our humanity. We lost our way. It's ok. Course correction is a breath of fresh air. It may mean we have to create a tandem idea rather than take on the old rotting systems head on, don't you think? That is the part where I haven't the slightest clue but must trust that anything is better than what we got.
I dropped out of all mental health agency work to build a private practice where I could be in control of how care is delivered (i.e., 100% non-objectifying, connection-focused, and mindful). That brings me joy, and I do believe if one additional person feels joy for one additional moment, that is progress.
It is so lovely and refreshing to listen to your comments. This work feels so isolating at times! yes we are not alone, but why does it feel like it? for me its because I live in an area where individuality is dominant, hard to create community. I might not be the only one trying, but it sure feels like it sometimes when I am in my head. The work can be tiring. But listening to both of you I find hope. I find light. I find that my transition from nursing to mindfulness and other healing hearts will continue to lead my heart to live a more mindful, intentional, respectful and meaningful life.
Your comments are so timely for me. As a nurse in the emergency department I feel those sentiments every day. I do think there has been progress in the mindset of many of us in the healthcare sphere but there is so much more work to do. To not settle and accept the world as it is. Neither you, or Nessa, or any of us are “too much”. Keep breathing and I will too.
Nessa, I enjoyed your article "Kintsugi: Embracing brokenness and empathy," especially all of the tips at the end. They bring hope to an overwhelming situation, one moment at a time. This is one reason why Thich Nhat Hanh is so relevant for our times: slowing down is the only way to heal.
I am here to say that I appreciate all your thoughts and comments! I love how this is a pop in and comment if you feel like kind of space. No pings or comment flags. Just on our own time raw and organic. Thank you.
I'll start:
Heartening: more are recognizing the importance of self healing in order to heal others
Disheartening: it is still ruled by systems entrenched in profit and will likely stay that way until complete topple
I feel your suffering and share the feelings of disheartening 🙏🏽
Agreed. There is so much awareness of mindfulness...And integrative medicine has been around for a while. But the pendulum swings, and fear-based medicine clenches on more strongly when it's threatened. For each person to take responsibility for his/her/their own wellness seems totally essential.
This comment resonates. The gripping is so intense from all directions. I found when I released it was almost like whiplash. Totally agree about self awareness as being the fundamental human prerequisite right now. Thank goodness for Thay's teachings and what we learned in our recent course. Gems!
I love when Thay talks about taking agency! It was so profound for me. So simple but yet so hard to grasp for my brain who is very conditioned to give my power away.
I will be entering the healthcare system from the other side, as a patient, in a few days. I’m having a relatively simple outpatient surgery but it still feels odd to encounter the world from this angle. Thank you for all that you each do for the world through your work.
Oh I had outpatient surgery this year for the first time. I would not downplay the stress on our physiology and emotions- no matter how "minor" the surgery is. I feel the establishment downplays everything and I do not agree with them. It was sooo odd being on the other side, getting general anesthesia. I found it to be so cookie cutter and very uncomfortable and im a friggin doctor. One would think I would know what to expect! I had to log on to portal to see that during anesthesia i got a whopping dose of steroids which is why i was wired and manic for 48 hrs post op! I am sending you positive energy for your procedure and swift healing. go easy on yourself. No matter what the docs say.
Link for zoom gathering on Dec. 30:
Sarah Anderson is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.
Topic: Wounded Healers Sangha
Time: Dec 30, 2023 08:00 AM Hawaii
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/2337646579?omn=87482248145
Meeting ID: 233 764 6579
This will be a great union!
Question for the sangha- does meditation feel synonymous with prayer? I am finding that its all the same. I guess it is just semantics but I feel like I have protect the time for it. Maybe if I just say I am praying, I'll have fewer moles to whack. hahah.
Great question. I’m such a mixture of spiritual inclinations, but I know most people are these days. We know too much! Or just enough. I pray, I chant, I follow my breath, I meditate (not much), I listen to dharma talks. Yes, somehow I think it’s all pointing at one thing.
I am adding your great share from our ZASP site here. This is great.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ueG1Olwx-Q
Hi dear Sangha. It turned out that taking a break from the teachings was suboptimal so I started them again. I have come to recognize that the undergoing the teachings is a lifestyle. I am working to make life changes so that it can be more embedded into my life. I hope the end of the year lands well on you. See you on the 30th zoom call!
How are you all feeling the concept of Interbeing this week? I am grateful for time spent in my garden and among my fruit trees. Not only is it very healthy to be outside, but I feel like it helps me maintain a sense of connection with nature. We are not in nature, we are nature kind of reminders.
Also, just had a conference call with one of the insurance companies I'm contracted with, which was not fun. And the interbeing aspect is that because I'm "an insider" rather than completely outside the system, there's a possibility that I'm getting paid to gradually change the system from the inside-out. :)
Interbeing was difficult for me at the start of the week, it is interesting you asked this question, I was very triggered. Maybe this is why I decided to take a pause from the book. Either way I decided in the middle of the week that I was going to allow myself to be human, not to judge myself from having a triggered experience, the result was that I felt more connected with nature and things around me without trying. It was almost that the teachings woke up and I no longer had to try so hard. Now that I am writing this, one of the parts that stood out from the book was non action. Allowing, not doing anything, knowing we have everything we need at this very moment. Nothing to do, nothing more, nothing less, accepting the moment as it unfolds, witnessing.
I'm not going to be with my dad or siblings over the holidays, but I'm considering interbeing from the perspective of: If they were not who they are, I would not be who I am (devoted to change and transformation). So, we don't have to be the same in order for interbeing to be fruitful.
so true. a simple honoring that we came from our ancestors helps soften any hard edges of that reality for me. haha. I am struggling with interbeing with humans (thinking it is a passing phase) as I strengthen my connection with more than human beings (nature, etc).
I have taken a break from the course material and that is maybe not serving me well. :)
As for insurance companies, I have spent decades fighting with them. It is all an absurd circus in my opinion and I lay down my arms. Like ok, ok, you win in this realm. I get it type of thing. I will shift my course...
I think taking a break from humans makes a lot of sense! We are a wild species. I'm leaning into a 4-day free program with Miribai Starr called Grieving through the Holidays that has been really supportive. This time of year is so tender.
I would love to throw in the towel with insurance companies, but they pay my bills at the moment. Maybe that will change in the future.
I worked for an insurance company for 5 years. that was my last formal nursing gig, I threw in the towel during COVID. I understand you so deeply on this one. It is hard to find balance between being there and also honoring ourselves, our believes, the patients....so hard. Deep breathing!
Nessa and friends, I apologize for my absence recently. I was involved in a troubling situation at work and found it hard to participate in the group or the course. I’m here now and enjoying all of your comments and writings. Thank you all for being here :)
Dear Wounded Healers,
I need help putting my aspiration into words. I'm listening to the ZASP book (a little late), and aspiration is such an important topic throughout. It was addressed in the course, but I didn't go deeply enough. I want to throw some words out here as a rough draft and ask for your support in finding some precision as I work with it.
I want to heal Feminine Energy in the world. Which is related to my mother's death from Alzheimer's at 73, my medical family and the dominance of that model, my personal and professional journey in the mental health field, Mother Earth, Hawaii, Jin Shin Jyutsu, Bhakti yoga, dancing, music, relationships.....So. Many. Things. But they are all held together by feminine energy. And I think it's what's missing in the world and also what has been missing in my heart since I was a child (but has been blooming for several decades now).
The repression of feminine energy makes me so angry that I want to act.
This is timely. It makes sense that these thoughts are rising in you. We are watching patriarchal systems fail and directly threaten women. No matter where we go the threat is there honestly. So naturally we may have healthy and unhealthy anger, responses and fear. It takes practice to have equanimity in that department and to have anger but utilize it to cut illusions as opposed to hurl insults or blame others. Perhaps the sense of the times right now is that we could benefit from paying attention to nurturing, nonviolent, loving energy of all mother figures and heal mother wounds. That also means that men bring other skills that we do not have to the table. We all have strengths and weaknesses. The ideal is harmony with nature and human beings including men (without tolerating what constitutes abuse of course). I can't think of any way to embody that except for transmuting anger into love and be the feminine energy that we wish to see. Unapologetically be the light even as it is snuffed out. I guess that is the same theme we keep bring up in our comments :) It takes practice. Thank goodness for the teachings. I am still reading the book too.
Sarah, I am a man but one who agrees so wholeheartedly with your view that there is feminine energy missing from the world. I would like to start by saying that as a white man in the US, I’m sure that at some point I’ve contributed to our collective repression of feminine energy, whether knowingly or unknowingly. I apologize so deeply for these things. As a nurse I’ve been amazed by the way that women have infused their energy into the practice, and how sustaining that feels. While I’m not a woman I feel myself being influenced by this feminine energy and it is dear to me. It’s important to me to continue growing with this and learning my own feminine energy. I think that it has made me a better healer and a better person.
Matthew, I really appreciate your saying these words. Sometimes it seems like I'm alone, even though I'm not. It's great that you are appreciating the Feminine in all of these dimensions. I think of Thay saying, "Just let Mother Earth do everything," which to me, is The Big Feminine holding us all.
Matthew, would you be able to meet via Zoom on Jan. 27th, around 10am PST? It might just be you, me, and Nessa, but a wounded healers' sangha!
Sarah, I can’t confirm right this second while I figure out my post-surgery schedule, but I should have that day free!
No worries! I'll post the link here. Hope your recovery is smooth.
Sarah, is the plan still to meet 1/27 at 10 pst? I’m free if so. Just wanted to confirm :) hope that you have been well
I received this from Sarah. 10:30 am not 10. Link below. See you soon.
Sarah Anderson is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting. Topic: Sarah Anderson's Zoom Meeting Time: Jan 27, 2024 10:30 pacific time
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83022546168
Thank you for sharing this with us Sarah, your commitment to the work! I too wish to be of service in this world, work towards loving myself and radiating that energy to others. I think this is beautiful and it comes from your life experience and understanding of the world.
I was very close to finishing the book recently and put it down, maybe I'll finish it another time. My conditioned mind had a hard time processing it all, so I decided to give it a break to allow myself to digest. See what works for me and what doesn't.
Heartening: When I was a bedside nurse 10 years ago on my first job I was asking the same questions that we are all talking about here and my coworkers then thought I was a complainer and that I needed to do the Job that I was told. Hearing your comments and going deep into Thay’s teachings brings me hope. Hope that we as humans have the capacity to change our internal conditions that are toxic, not only to assist ourselves but our communities.
Disheartening: they are still people out there who think the system is the way it is, and that nothing needs to be done about it 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🧡 hope, hope. Breathing in, breathing out.
My ENTIRE life I have been told I am too much and just never satisfied and always complaining and I must not be happy and to get back into place. I was told by virtually everyone to stop agitating the status quo. Apparently people were seemingly comfortable with this model of living and anyone who was not was put into place. How oppressive is that! So ya, I guess I was too much for their too little.
When I speak up it is to voice outrage of injustice/harms that I witness day in and day out for nearly 20 years in the healthcare "industry" and just in life in general. When I reflect on the dichotomy, I recognize that the grip was so tight around our conditioned brains. It is normal to accept harmful systems, harmful food, harmful behavior, and harmful treatment of one another. It is painfully normal for most. It is no longer normal for me. No thank you. Thank you both your willingness to be open on this space. I think of us as futurists and innovators and survivors really.
I feel excited to be here even though I have no idea how to change anything!!! LOL. Seriously, the way out is in, but of course that never seems like enough. But it is.
And yet you do know. We all know it in our bones. Changing our individual conditioning seems essential to elevate our humanity. We lost our way. It's ok. Course correction is a breath of fresh air. It may mean we have to create a tandem idea rather than take on the old rotting systems head on, don't you think? That is the part where I haven't the slightest clue but must trust that anything is better than what we got.
I dropped out of all mental health agency work to build a private practice where I could be in control of how care is delivered (i.e., 100% non-objectifying, connection-focused, and mindful). That brings me joy, and I do believe if one additional person feels joy for one additional moment, that is progress.
It is so lovely and refreshing to listen to your comments. This work feels so isolating at times! yes we are not alone, but why does it feel like it? for me its because I live in an area where individuality is dominant, hard to create community. I might not be the only one trying, but it sure feels like it sometimes when I am in my head. The work can be tiring. But listening to both of you I find hope. I find light. I find that my transition from nursing to mindfulness and other healing hearts will continue to lead my heart to live a more mindful, intentional, respectful and meaningful life.
Your comments are so timely for me. As a nurse in the emergency department I feel those sentiments every day. I do think there has been progress in the mindset of many of us in the healthcare sphere but there is so much more work to do. To not settle and accept the world as it is. Neither you, or Nessa, or any of us are “too much”. Keep breathing and I will too.
Nessa, I enjoyed your article "Kintsugi: Embracing brokenness and empathy," especially all of the tips at the end. They bring hope to an overwhelming situation, one moment at a time. This is one reason why Thich Nhat Hanh is so relevant for our times: slowing down is the only way to heal.
Thank you for reading and for the support! It was a tribute to my teacher Dr. Paul Farmer. I hope the piece brings hope for readers. https://www.kevinmd.com/2023/12/kintsugi-embracing-brokenness-and-empathy.html
As a wounded healer, I have received a lot of help in my life. My therapeutic relationship with Kenneth Robinson changed my life and made me the healer I am today. Here is a conversation with him about that process: https://sacredcommunityproject.org/digital-library/kenneth-robinson-and-sarah-anderson